I Belong to Myself

When I think about Universal Belonging, I think about making a seat at my table for those historically treated as “other”—people in America who are not in the category of white, male, cis-gender, able-bodied, and financially privileged. I think that everyone deserves to feel like they belong somewhere. But I also recognize that not everyone belongs everywhere.

To that point, I understand that I do not belong in some spaces created by people of color, or people who share a characteristic that I do not. This is related to safe spaces and feeling safe to be yourself. If you create a space where my presence inhibits your vulnerability, I need to respect that boundary. Just like, as a white woman, I have the right to create a female space free of male influence if I need that to feel safe.

This is a roundabout introduction to some thoughts on belonging from Maya Angelou: writer, creater, Renaissance woman. She sat down in 1973 with Bill Moyers and shared some hard-won insight. Moyers recounted her myriad accomplishments and adventures, and asked about the price of freedom.

ANGELOU: Well, at some point — you only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.

MOYERS: Do you belong anywhere?

ANGELOU: I haven’t yet.

MOYERS: Do you belong to anyone?

ANGELOU: More and more. I mean, I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I am very concerned about how I look at Maya. I like Maya very much. I like the humor and the courage very much. And — when I find myself acting in a way that isn’t — that doesn’t please me, then I have to deal with that…

ANGELOU: Well, I think you get to a place where you realize you have nothing to lose. Nothing at all. Then you have no reason to bind yourself. I had no reason to hold on. I found it stupid to hold on, to close myself up and hold within me nothing, to protect nothing. So I decided to try everything, to keep myself wide open to human beings, all human beings — seeing them as I understand them to be, not as they wish they were, but as I understand them to be…Really, being free is being able to accept people for what they are, and not try to understand all they are or be what they are. Not change them. Not at all.

Humanity. Maybe a key to Universal Belonging is this idea of recognizing the humanity of every human—no matter how flawed or different, and recognizing the humanity of ourselves. Be free, belong everywhere, belong nowhere. That, Angelou says, is the fruit of knowing we belong to ourselves.